Leaving is hard and so are goodbyes, but I think I’ve finally figured it out.
I’ve got four days left, and then I’ll be gone. I want to spend every last minute of these last few days with the people that matter the most to me, but I know that that will be really hard. But I feel ready. I feel ready to leave. I’m ready for the goodbyes. The thing about goodbyes are that they’re hard, but they’re necessary. I hate not to say goodbye. I don’t like to leave things open ended. I need clarity. “See-ya”s work, but you can’t ignore me. I can’t have nothing. I need something. I need to know that we’re still okay when I leave. And if we’re not, I need to know that too. I just need to know. I’ve been ready to leave and I couldn’t figure out why. I thought that maybe I should have at least the slightest reservation to starting a new life, be the slightest bit nervous, be the slightest bit scared, or feel the slightest bit unprepared, but I just don’t. I finally figured out why. And listening to this song on repeat for the past couple of days is what made me understand. I finally get that this is why I’m ready to be gone. Every word of this song perfectly embodies my feelings of leaving, and so here it is:
You know I’m not one to break promises,
I don’t want to hurt you but I need to breathe.
At the end of it all, you’re still my best friend,
But there’s something inside that I need to release.
Which way is right, which way is wrong,
How do I say that I need to move on?
You know we’re heading separate ways.
And it feels like I am just too close to love you,
There’s nothing I can really say.
I can’t lie no more, I can’t hide no more,
Got to be true to myself.
And it feels like I am just too close to love you,
So I’ll be on my way.
You’ve given me more than I can return,
Yet there’s oh so much that you deserve.
There’s nothing to say, nothing to do.
I’ve nothing to give,
I must live without you.
You know we’re heading separate ways.
And it feels like I am just too close to love you,
There’s nothing I can really say.
I can’t lie no more, I can’t hide no more,
Got to be true to myself.
And it feels like I am just too close to love you,
So I’ll be on my way.
So I’ll be on my way.
And it feels like I am just too close to love you,
There’s nothing that I can really say.
I can’t lie no more, I can’t hide no more,
Got to be true to myself.
And it feels like I am just too close to love you,
So I’ll be on my way.
So I’ll be on my way.
So I’ll be on my way.
(Source: luthortyrells)
